The Coming of Bow-Zar the Barkbarian!
The Zoo C rew is passing through downtown Follywood, Califurnia on their way to Byrd Rentals' house in Beaverly Hills, when Byrd's agent—Ermine "Swiftly" LaFurr—runs up to them in a desperate attempt to sign them up to as his next "stars"; he is, of course, rebuffed by the team. Arriving at Byrd's pad, the Crew encounters Byrd's friend Ezra Hound, a "sword-and-saucery" writer and creator of Bow-Zar the Barkbarian. Ezra explains that he has become tired of the character and wants to kill him off so he can get back to writing poetry. Unfortunately for him, ever since he began Bow-Zar's last story, he has been haunted by nightmares in which the Barkbarian is trying to kill him off. Pig-Iron "volunteers" to be Ezra's bodyguard (albeit for a hundred dollars an hour) so the writer can get some sleep without any further worrying. Meanwhile, a "zillion years ago," Bow-Zar the Barkbarian is himself haunted by a "nameless magician" (Ezra Hound) who is trying to destroy him. He thus uses his undefined "Barkbarian powers" to track the sorcerer down in order to destroy him, arriving in the middle of Beaverly Hills, Califurnia in the 20th century. Bow-Zar is unfamiliar with the 20th century, however, and while attempting to rescue a damsel who wants to cavort with him, he destroys a Furrari in the belief that it is a dragon with a peasant in its open maw. After this distraction he sets about tracking down Ezra Hound once more, scaling the apartment building where Ezra and Pig-Iron are. He breaks in while Pig-Iron is sound asleep (he seems to be a very sound sleeper) and chases after Ezra. When Pig-Iron finally wakes and sees all the destruction in Ezra's apartment and beyond, he naturally assumes that Ezra's gone nuts and is tearing up Beaverly Hills under the insane belief that he is Bow-Zar the Barkbarian. On the run, Ezra calls Byrd's place from a pay phone asking for the Zoo Crew to rescue him. The Zoo Crew shows up immediately (thanks to Abra's Magic Wanda) and Bow-Zar begins to fight them, believing the team to be the masked minions of this magician (Ezra). The fight takes Bow-Zar, Pig-Iron, and the rest of the Zoo Crew through a few Follywood sets (including the shooting of Canine the Barkin' Barbarian). Bow-Zar then climbs atop a MacDarnold's sign-pole in order to look for Ezra once more. He mistakes a nearby news helicopter for a flying dragon and "rescues" the passengers by tossing them out of it, wrecking the helicopter in the process (the Zoo Crew, of course, come to the passengers' rescue). Finally, Bow-Zar chases Ezra Hound into a bank, where the writer runs into an open bank vault for protection, but to no avail. Bow-Zar is about to slay the sword-and-saucery writer when the Zoo Crew finally stops and subdues him, bringing Bow-Zar back to Ezra's apartment. The misunderstanding is cleared up as everything is carefully explained to Bow-Zar that his and Ezra's "destinies got all tangled up." However, as the two shake hands and agree not to destroy each other, they both suddenly disappear. Just then, "Swiftly" LaFurr, who has been trying to sign up the Barkbarian throughout the story, breaks in demanding to see his "star," so a fed-up Zoo Crew grants his wish, making LaFurr "see stars." The end of the story brings us back to Bow-Zar's time, where Ezra Hound has settled in as Bow-Zar's weapons-bearer, occasionally finding the time to write really bad poetry. Category:Comics